I sit down writing this entry as I camp with Dorian at-Sendulon, the person that may actually be who I choose as my Betrothed. Both of us detest organized marriages, but this could work maybe, but the glaring issue I have is what he will think if he finds out my secret. Will he accept me for who I truly am or will he just be another way to die? He had issues with criminals in the past, but I am not like those criminals. I don’t smuggle skooma, since it is just as bad as slavery though instead of being enslaved physically, you enslave the client’s mind instead and make them reliant on you. I abhor slavery as well since everyone has the right to choose whether or not they want to work somewhere.I am still wondering if he will accept my membership in the Illiac Bay Thieves Guild or if he will drift away like a boat lost on a river? I don’t want to tell him and probably never will, but I know that it is inevitable that one day he will start asking questions about why I need to go to Daggerfall so often. I know the mask I wear as the Warrior-Poet and Heiresss of Qasyat will serve me well until I’m ready to tell him the truth, but why am I still worried that this could get complicated quickly? Maybe I will tell him someday after we get to know each other as individuals first rather than our roles in Alik’r society.
Why is it that some of my fellow forebears are so obsessed with becoming imperialized? Their divines are simply bad imitations and bastardizations of the Yokudan pantheon. It seems some of my fellow forebears want to throw away our cultural heritage for the sake of “progress.” There is no issue with progress in my eyes as long as we hold on to our identity. Unlike the crowns that are so stuck in old Yokuda that they might as well have sunk with it, I still think there is room for positive change that will make the Alik’r flourish. The Daggerfall Covenant is an example of a positive change that can help the Alik’r in the long run. My only concern is, will it will last? We have had a few alliances in our history and they always tend to end badly. My main concern are the Bretons with their high tendency to intrigue and fight amongst themselves. Will we be dragged into those conflicts and have to make way for our own people like the hoonding made way for us when we landed in Tamriel? It is even shown in history from the aftermath of the siege of old orsnium that we got betrayed by the very people we allied with against the orcs. I begrudgingly admit, the Crown’s concerns are not without merit. One of the dominant forebear nobles, Marquess Rhea Rousseau at-Rabiah is not of full Redguard blood. She claims to be Redguard and serves the Alik’r just as loyally as any other full-blooded Redguard which I respect her for, but could she be unwittingly taking part in the destruction of Redguard culture? In history, we have seen many unique cultures slowly get overtaken over the years from mixing with their neighbors for too long. Could this be our civilization’s fate? Gods, I am beginning to sound like a Crown. By Tava’s bright feathers I am conflicted, but the only thing I can truly do currently is live on, follow the Yokudan pantheon, preserve our culture through song, and teach our people to still be wary of the Alliance, but pull our weight along with the other two provinces.
“There is no honor among thieves.” That is a ridiculous term, because if that was the case my comrades in the shadows, the Illiac Bay Thieves guild would of never lasted. No skooma, no killing, no slavery, and steal only from those that can afford it. Something I can get behind. At eighteen years old I would of scoffed at becoming a thief, but I realized I couldn’t always get a tracking job or get paid gold for playing in a tavern. I am not one to throw around my family’s wealth since those that have a basic understanding of coin, know that the wealthy stay rich by not overspending on every single thing. With this in mind, I ended up stealing to make up for money I lost. Anyways, onto the the subject. Honor has many different meanings depending on who you ask. Some people think it is honorable to follow every single law, refusing to help those that are forced to break the law to make ends meet. Some twisted minds find honor in selling Skooma, because they think they can control it to prevent it from effecting their loved ones. My definition of honor is following a code, but still having the willpower to break that code if the need arises. Following that definition, there is definitely honor among the Thieves Guild, but is there honor among all thieves? I will have to say there isn’t honor among all thieves. I have personally seen this with the Merchant’s Guild of Wayrest. A group of “merchants” who will exploit others for coin by assisting in the enslavement of their own people, peddling their vile skooma to the weak-minded, and most of all robbing my family’s ancestral tomb. I can’t wait till there is proper retribution for David Jemelie’s acts against the people and the Thieves Guild is back in Wayrest to ensure that these merchants are put on a leash so they can no longer be harmful. Now, the final answer to, “Can there truly be honor among thieves?” The answer is simply, yes.
Last week, we paid a visit to the Merchant Guild’s main smuggling bay. It was going smoothly until that oddly large Khajiit who thinks he is a champion of Rajhin accidentally alerted the guards. We managed to fight our way out and got the ledger though, so I consider that a successful heist. The guildmates complained about torching the loot, but they don’t understand my train of thought, the site will now most likely get investigated and the Knights we left alive there are now in custody. With this, I am hoping that the Knights of Iron will start being investigated for corruption which means, that we may be able to remove a valuable weapon of the Merchant’s guild from their grasp. Though, one thing concerns me… we were killing an awful lot. What happened to the no-killing rule in the guild? Admittedly, this situation was far too dire to not kill considering we were dealing with crossbowmen and knights that were intent on separating our heads from our bodies and I would assume we like our heads. I just hope we don’t end up in anymore situations like that, because we don’t need all of these deaths to happen and it’s bad for business in the long run if we start becoming no better than the thrice-cursed merchant’s guild. After the strike on the Merchant Guild’s smuggling operations, I spent a few days translating the ledger we obtained and out of all places, one of my family’s artifacts ended up in the possession of Cupia Mirina. In hindsight I should of posted that job on the job board and waited for more, because I could only get two people to join me and it ended up being quite the difficulty. We used the tunnels to get to the palace, but we got caught by Cupia’s Worm Cult buddies that were lurking underground and performing some kind of ritual. We managed to escape, but I learned something Ghastly when we were fighting those cultists… one of the high ranking guild members is a vampire. I don’t know how I feel about this. She seems to be in control, but even the most honed warrior can lose control of a fight if something wrong happens. I will have to watch her habits closely before I fully trust her again..
By Tava’s Red feathers, I am disgusted. I was going on with my business in the Sentinel marketplace and this Crown had the audacity to call me an armed peasant. Yes, I was wearing my casual attire, because I don’t feel the need to be disgustingly opulent when I’m simply shopping in a marketplace and yes, I was carrying my family blade. I had to call him out for his blatant disrespect, peasant or not, insulting a fellow Redguard is something that should be frowned upon. We got into an argument in which he insulted my beautiful hometown of Qasyat by calling it a backwater even though he never visited it before and he also proceeded to demand respect that he hasn’t earned. I originally decided to dismiss myself, but it was the last straw when he announced his name, “Magnifico Tarish” and announced that I made an enemy of him. I have heard of this Magnifico Tarish somewhere, but it didn’t matter. I am one to end rivalries quickly and that’s what I did. I challenged him to a duel and clashed my steel with his own to teach him some humility. It was satisfying sticking my dagger into his flesh and ending that duel at first blood. I decided to try to be respectful by offering him a drink for a duel that I begrudgingly admit was well-fought. He still wasn’t humbled, still continued insulting me, and said he would never accept a drink from a forebear dog. I guess old dogs can’t be taught new tricks.