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Tarja's Diary

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Morrowind
Skyrim
Morndas, 21st day of Second Seed, 2E 583
Entry 11



We took a little boat from Vvardenfell to the mainland last night. Another boring trip wasted waiting on nothing. I'd wish my handler would share more with me. But he's reluctant to share too much when it doesn't concern me. I understand, I suppose. Perhaps it's some of that hidden segregation. Why send a dumb Nord to conduct a Writ when you have all of these glorious Dunmer? Hm. I won't think too much of it. No sense in getting upset... While on the boat, I overheard two Mer talking of the Isle of Summerset. Supposedly Queen Ayrenn of the Aldemeri Dominion has opened the island to visitors of all races; No longer is the mysterious land restricted to High Elves. I'll look into this more and I assume we'll hear more of it when we reach Mournhold tomorrow. I was thinking of spending some time in Stros M'Kai for a little bit of rest and relaxation next time I am granted freedom, but now that Summerset Isle is open, I think those plans might change... we'll see. Nothing else to write.
Posted May 21, 18 · OP · Last edited May 21, 18
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Morndas, 6th day of Last Seed, 2E 583
Entry 12


I am still alive. Well, I don't feel it right now. I seem to have drank quite a bit last night. Enough to put me to sleep anyway. My head is pounding and I haven't a clue where I am, but this bed is cozy so I will remain here until some one familiar comes or I decide to leave. I have so much to write but I really just can't be assed to catch myself up... So I will shorten it. I was not chosen for the Black Marsh job. I returned to Skyrim for not a week, meeting a woman named Fyre on the run from Daggerfall. I think she was younger, but she liked me and I felt bad so I took her under my wing for a little while. I took her back into Morrowind and we got along fairly well, but during the night while camping in Stonefalls she disappeared. I hope she's okay. If she were abducted you'd think they would have taken me too but maybe she simply left. Either way, that is probably better for me anyway. I don't know how I was going to cater for her back in Mournhold. I can barely cater for myself, and who knows what the Morag Tong would think of me bringing an outsider around with me? It would be hard a hard secret to keep with a room mate anyway. Some more days passed; Uneventful. Training. Drinking. I drink more. I drink a lot more often, now. Subconsciously I know I have a problem. But I don't want to admit it. Is it me admitting it as I write it out here this afternoon? Maybe? Questions. Why do I drink? To relax. It makes me feel good. Forget about things with the Tong. I'm just stressed is all. On a lighter note, I've met Dolorous my side of Tamriel this time- unexpectedly. I went drunk in front of her, embarassingly. I hope she didn't mind. Actually I got drunk in front of her twice now, counting last night. Last I could remember I took another trip to Daggerfall to visit her and the Order. Fine people, they are. But it seems every time I visit there is something dramatic going on that has me out of the loop entirely. Not that I feel like I'm not welcome... Just, like I don't belong? Maybe I'm different. I'm no Knight. They are. Most of them, anyway. There's that one nice older woman, Cloddagh or however you'd spell her name. I think Dolorous likes her. I can see it. I hope I'm not intruding upon anything. Happy for them both if that is the case. I have yet to find any one I truly love in life and I am starting to think that perhaps I have a destiny for myself, in my lonesome - which, I am not opposed to having. Most men are tacky anyway and there have been very few women I've found attractive enough in my time. I don't think I have the guts to ask anyone out myself anyway... On a side note,I have been spending quite a bit more time outside of Morrowind than I should, but I'm just never called upon to conduct writs anymore. Is it because I am an Outlander? Do the other agents trust me for being a Nord? It's a question I think that I'll ask myself for the rest of my life. Some days I feel as such, but then there are other times that I am welcomed with open arms. Perhaps it's a test, or maybe it's because they just need something from me at that very moment. I don't know.... Do I even classify as an outlander as a non-dunmer member of the Tong? I'm kind of scared to ask, and my handler has been awfully quiet lately. I will remain in Daggerfall for a few more days before returning to Morrowind again.. I just need to figure out where in Oblivion I am right now. Curse me for reaching such a level on intoxication.....
Posted Aug 6, 18 · OP · Last edited Aug 6, 18
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